Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
