Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
