my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wish you could order shots online.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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