I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
