remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
