how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
