see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
