in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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