She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
