Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
