I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
