I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
