Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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