They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
