You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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