The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
