he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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