I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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