And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
