I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
