I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Congratulations! We have a period
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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