We're like a lot better than the average bears
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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