I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
