Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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