I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
