ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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