Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
