Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
