I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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