Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
