I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
