when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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