soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
