dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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