i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
