so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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