the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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