I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i out mim tonsoeep
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