I'm gonna have a badass scar
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
