It's Friday. Sex?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
