oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Having a random hookup so left but love u
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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