I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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