A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
