Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
