i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
