im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
