I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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