Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We are two peas in an std pod
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
