piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
