i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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